I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
