So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
