Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
