...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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