I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
