i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
