So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I need to calm my uterus...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
