I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
