Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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