Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
