You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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