Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
