Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
