Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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