Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
