Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
