I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
