Someone shit on the floor
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
