Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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