She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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