from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
my being single is dangerous.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
false alarm, still single
Randomize
