I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize