NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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