Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
