Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We need to rekindle our bromance
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
