Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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