I want to stick my p in your. b.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Randomize
