I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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