Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I love having hate sex.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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