can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
