What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
