Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
