it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
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You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
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Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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