Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
