We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
pray to the hookup gods
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
