need another drink. this is the easiest way
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
