You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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