Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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