so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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