I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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