I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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