i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
