i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
