i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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