how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
