I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
