just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
