This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
