Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
