It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i will never coherently bang her
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
