I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
two words...techno handjob
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize