she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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