Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
