no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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