Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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