This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My bed smells like the plague
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
