Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
