Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
