On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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