O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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