i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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