Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
That accounts for only three of the penises
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
