HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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