the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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